Higher wall going up around whitehouse "for public safety"

Police in Washington, DC released a statement today advising the public of "a public safety" concern and outlining steps that are being taken to mitigate damage.  

When reached for interview Chief of Police Ted Anderson explained, "We had seen a bit of a crime wave in close proximity to the capital.  We mobilized resources and were able to ascertain the crime wave was localized, coming from within the white house.  Due to justice department guidelines, we're not able to enforce any laws on these premises."

Republicans Jublient! Mueller finds Trump's collusion with Russia was Implicit, NOT explicit!!!

Republicans danced in the streets, on their farms, and on Wall Street Tuesday, as the Mueller report revealed special council Robert Mueller had vindicated Trump, ruling that his conspiracy and collusion had no written contract and thus was too intangible to be criminally actionable.  While special council Mueller did find 745 contacts with Russia that the Trump campaign had lied about, there was nothing agreed upon in writing that could be brought before a jury.  The closest thing found was a picture of Putin and Trump holding up a sign that said "drop sanctions in exchange for a half bill

Ted Jones of Des Moines, Iowa wins 2019 Feature Finder contest

44 year old programmer Ted Jones of Des Moines, Iowa wins the 2019 Microsoft feature finder grand prize.  

Redmond, WA -- An exhubilant Ted Jones celebrating the 2019 Microsoft Windows Feature Finder contest.  Ted Jones credited the win to training, mental stamina, and of course, "God almighty who helped me pull through in the end."

The contest, first conceived of in 1996, in Microsoft's words, "give users a fun and adventurous way to get to know the latest version or revision of the ubiquitous Microsoft Windows operating system.  

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